One of the hardest things about being Hermana Milmont is the knowlege that I am an incredibly out gowing person, and yet, I am verbally handicapt. This Kills me! I have so much love for each of the people we work with and so many thoughts and feeling that I wish to express. My heart is trying so heart to connect with our investigators, but the words are a perverbial jumbalia. This is a titan of a challenge for me. Its discouraging when you have this incredible messege, and you want to share it so badly, it is urgent that each of God´s children recieve this Gospel!
I want to talk to everyone, and I am still learning that when I give the words that I cannot speak to the Lord, he can and will use them to help those who have yet to recieve the gospel. In the schripture it is amazing how many times the word will appears. ¨Äsk and ye will receve, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened¨ (John 16:23-24) When you have need, and do your part, He will do that which is requested of Him. Towards the end of this scripture, is seems that Lord is saying ¨but you havent asked me! why havn´t you asked? I´m waiting to answer! waiting to help!¨ ¨I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say¨(DyC...?)
Therefore, we are commaned to ask things of God. To ask if things are true, to ask for spiritual gifts, to ask for strenth and faith. He wants us to grow and develope, and he wants to help us do that. He´s our Father and He loves us, so why dont we let him help? I can´t answer that for you. My fear is that my request is too grand of a task. We can´t really comprehend how our Father in Heaven works. Too aften I put Him into a box, and say ¨there is only so much that can be done in this box¨. These thoughts break His heart. He yerns to gives us support. His abuility cannot be contained. He can do all things, and my grand tasks are simple for Him.
This week we taught David and his mother Nanci. My grand task was that David and Nanci would understand me. In each lesson, every time I open my mouth, David starts smiling to himself, and I could not, for the life of me, figure out why. It took several lessons to descover the source of humor. He said it´s not my accent, and he´s not even laughing at me. He said he knows how much I want to share the messege, he can tell by how hard I´m trying. As I struggle to bear my testimony, he knows how much I love this Gospel, because if I didn´t, I would not be trying. And he smiles because he can feel that I love him enough to ignore my obstacle. That changed my perspective. Here I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn´t get through a lesson without David chuckling at me. But now, I can better appeciate how the Lord can take my weaknesses and make them strenths, David probaby didn´t understand much of what I said, but he understood me, and he felt the spirit.
David has been reading the Book of Mornon and loves it, he has prayed to ask if it is true and the Lord has answered him through the Holy Spirit. He has come to church twice and wants to be baptized. I can see the difference it has made in his life. He was a much sadder person when we first taught him, but now he finds joy in following the spirit.
The Gospel changes lives. I can see it. I pray that you might also strive to take your grand tasks to the Lord. Let him help you. So that through you, the spirit can touch many lives. I love you all. ¡Nos Vemos!
Sonrei - Hermana Milmont
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